Staple Remover

by The Johnson Report

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released October 13, 2016

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The Johnson Report Toronto, Ontario

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Track Name: Apparition Transcendental
I'm on a shattered path
A remnant of order
A newborn psychopathic man approaching foreign borders

I toe the pseudo-line
The line of heavy looks
I've got a tingle-spine: a discipline on tenterhooks

I see an apparition
A being phosphorescent
I've got a premonition
Moon, you've gone and lost your crescent

Something's on the far horizon
It's something monumental
Just now I'm realizing Apparition Transcendental

You will meet salvation when they bury you
You will know your mother when you die

I'm on a mountainside
That's right, I climb a mountain
I'm planning suicide
I'm at a thousand feet and counting

I'm almost at the top
And from the top I'm jumping
I see a helicopter

Hold up, think I'm hearing something

I hear the voice of God
The God of Giving Up
He tosses me a line affixed to a paper cup

It's like some kind of telephone
From back when I was tree-forting
This god is nine years old
And now he's reporting

You will need conviction on the precipice
You will see the light before the fall

I need you to fill me with all your hopes and fears
Your resolution pales before the oft impending Apparition Transcendental

I'm on a mountainside
That's right, I climb a mountain
I'm planning suicide
I'm at a thousand feet and counting

I'm almost at the top
And from the tippy-top I'm jumping
I see a helicopter
Hold up, think I'm hearing something

I hear the voice of God

The God of Giving Up
He tosses me a line affixed to a paper cup

It's like some kind of telephone
I've got a bad connection
I'm calling Mother Nature
Think she made a bad selection

You will need conviction on the precipice
You will see the light before the fall

I need you to fill me with all your hopes and fears
Your resolution pales before the oft impending Apparition Transcendental
Track Name: I Pray To God There's A Devil (So I Can Sell Him My Soul)
Sun came up and told me that tonight
Tonight's going to be "black as coal"
I pray to God there's a Devil
So I can sell him my soul

Day's filled with dreaming
Yeah, but dreams take their toll
I pray to God there's a Devil...

...so I can sell him my soul

I've been blown by winds come down from the North Pole
Track Name: David Ogden Stiers
I think I'm waiting for a day that'll never come

A day when someone will agree that I am old enough to say that I am old enough

I think I'm old enough today

Would you say I'm old enough today?

I know when I was young you hoped I'd stay

But I think I'm old enough today
Track Name: 5' 2"
I'm afraid of the telephone
Hope it don't ring when I'm at home
I pick it up and hear a dial tone
But I don't press the keys

'Cause I don't wanna hear another voice
I sit around, I don't make noise
I'd throw it out if I had a choice
But my heart says "no"

Because I hear you like the telephone
And there's a number that I'm hoping you call
If you get a minute maybe you can give me a ring sometime

I wanna hear your voice
I wanna see your face
I wanna touch your lips
I wanna...

I'm afraid of the city lights
I stay inside I don't go out at night
If I were taller than I'd be alright
But I'm just 5' 2"

I wait around and hum another song
It doesn't matter if I don't belong
It could be right or it could be wrong
But I check my phone


Because I hear you like the telephone
And there's a number that I'm hoping you call
If you get a minute maybe you can give me a ring sometime

If you call me in January
I'll break out my coat
If you call in July
I can walk out the door
Just as long as you call
I don't care at all

I wanna hear your voice
I wanna see your face
I wanna touch your lips
I wanna say your name
I wanna...
Track Name: My Head Seems To Break My Heart Every Time I See Your Face
I don't want to "live for the day"
I don't want to "live for the moment"
I don't want to live for a reason I don't believe in

I don't want to see you tonight
I don't want to see you tomorrow
I don't want to see you again for as long as I'm breathing

But I hope that I do

My head and my heart can't seem to agree
My head draws a chart my heart can't seem to see
My head seems to break my heart every time I see your face

I have never been one to pray
I have never had strong opinions
I have never looked for an answer in the form of a stranger

Cranium to Atrium
Tu as beaucoup
Oui, mais tu as faim

This voice I hear
Like an angel
Sincere from the start
But gets confused
On its way to my heart

So woe is me
That my eyes will cry and cry 'til they can't see

I don't want to "live for the day"
I don't want to "live for the moment"
I don't want to live for a reason I don't believe in

But it looks like I will

My head and my heart can't seem to agree
My head draws a chart my heart can't seem to see
My head seems to break my heart every time I see your face